I was in the Lord's House last Sunday. I try to take in as much as I can when I'm at mass. I don't go as often as I'd like, but I think the Lord's House as a sort of pure sanctuary. To me, it is where all the beef gets put aside and we're all in the same place trying to repent. But I think I've put too much of an emphasis on pure. I was watching the events of the service transpire. Then I notice the lector of the first reading. The lector of the first reading was the same chick I saw at Santa Barbara who seemed to be majoring in debauchery studies rather than Bible studies. And then as the mass goes on, they needed people to help serve the Body of Christ. Two of the people that were helping give out the Body of Christ were heavy drinkers, proficient shit-talkers, and self-proclaimed bitches. I thought to myself, "Doesn't this somehow defeat the purpose?" I'm hearing God's word from someone who doesn't practice it. I'm receiving the Body of Christ from some of the most shadiest characters. As I tried to convince myself of this pure sanctuary, images of priest-touchin' children emerge. Then I feel bad for judging in the Lord's House. You know how angry conservative mob protesters rally in front of courthouses against gay marriage? And then people like me think, "What do gay marriages have to do with these protesters? In the long run, how does it affect them at all?" I think I got a glimpse of their ignorance. For some reason, it does affect me that the Girls Gone Wild lector is readin' God's Word to the church. For some reason, it does affect me that the some of the shadiest of individuals (and not even the Bible reference, tax-collectors who truly sorry for their sins type of individuals) are serving up the Body of Christ. I can't articulate how it affects me but that type of stuff seems contradictory in the Lord's House. It's probably as contradictory as me judging folks in the Lord's House.
All I can do is try to understand that even I don't always live up to the image of myself. Even I can't meet my standards at times. Maybe those folks ARE trying to become better people. Maybe I'm lying to myself about them but at least I'm trying for them.
But in order to reduce confusion:
Be who you say you are. And say what you is.
This is a good album.
Justice - Cross
4 comments:
Obviously, church is simply a gathering place where hardcore hypocrites can feel like people again. Which is us all, I guess. Some moreso than others. Ahem.
iciwici
P.S. That was sarcasm, in case you didn't notice and get offended. I'm trying not to get in trouble with that anymore.
P.P.S. I read somewhere that Catholicism is the only religion that can save you from malicious ghosts. This is why debauchery majors serve communion, so they can avoid hauntings and demonic possession.
my first boyfriend's mom was uber Catholic growing up, but she didn't take her kids to church for this very same reason. she became really disillusioned with the Catholic church and all the hypocritical folks she saw at mass.
i don't know why, but this has never bothered me so much. i guess it's cuz i don't really go there for those people (and i don't think you do either). i go there for Him.
and if i WERE thinkin' about or judging those folks (which, i try not to do, but if i WAS) then even if their hands or mouths were delivering his body or his words to me, wouldn't that be enough of a good thing in itself? maybe enough to make up for whatever sins or incomplete part of their story i see on the outside?
i guess my point is, i feel you, but we all got our dirt. i know you said that, but i just have faith that those folks are up there not to claim that they're good all the time, but to repent and be close to something good again, just like us.
hopefully that makes SOME kinda sense...
i feel you cas. there's a little bit of that Once-A-Week-Catholic syndrome in all of us... but its more extreme for some. straight up crazy for 6 days then suddenly holier than thou on sunday. rinse. repeat.
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